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-------------------------------------------Press Release----------------------------------------------​
Get more bang for your Boeotian, more value for your Vabalathus! Here's how:
Certified Ancient Coin Acceptanceâ„¢ Corporation proudly announces their long-awaited ancient coin verification program. Protect your investment now with a genuine CACA sticker. Be coinfident with CACA!
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Proven increased resale value*
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Peace of mind knowing your coin has been expertly assessed**
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Easy-open slab***
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Low cost!
Basic package, $24.99â€
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Entry-level cleaning with a spit rag
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Easy-open slab
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Best-guess attribution
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Green CACA sticker
Optional upgrades:
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Deluxe cleaning with sulfuric acid, add $19.99 (plus $100 for hazardous waste disposal)
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Gold CACA sticker indicating Overachiever status (hammer price >200% of estimate), add $9.99
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Smiley sticker to indicate just how happy you are with your purchase, add $4.99 (free if you "like" us on Facebook)
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"Better" attribution (Wildwinds search), add $19.99
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Supply your own attribution, add $24.99
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Bar code on label, add $4.99
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Unique bar code on label, add $9.99
* When shown the same Gallienus with and without a CACA slab and sticker, my mother was more impressed with the CACA. She thought the sticker was pretty.
** Applies to Nabataeans only.
*** Easier to replace the coin with a lower grade specimen prior to selling.
†Plus excise, duty, handling, shipping, VAT where applicable, and a 21.5% buyer's fee.
Check out these glowing reviews from our Facebook page!
"Now I realise what true value is. I will seek to sell of my Byzantine Solidii and use the money to get my Late Roman Bronzes certified by CACA. Surely the Bar Code and Smiley sticker on the easy-open Slabs for my LRB's will more than pay for the cost. I am cock-a-hoop for CACA!" -- Masis
"I used to crack my ancient coins out of slabs. After seeing the quality of the product the CACA Corporation has to offer, I'm even more enthusiastic. From now on all my slabs will be genuine CACA stickered." --willyb
''I used this company and my ancient coin looks incredible. I paid for the Basic package, and I'm elated with the results of the spit rag cleaning-as they say 'nothing say's ancient like spit rag cleaning'. I'm so happy I'm sending my ancient coin back, so I can get a smiley sticker and a unique barcode. Thank-you CACA, for making my day.'' --awallin01
Offer void where prohibited by law. And as always, ask your doctor if CACA is right for you.
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Dear CAC,
Please take this spoof in good humor. Obviously there is value in your service, but I was helpless against the temptation to satirize. :D
-TIF
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